Quiet the Mind with Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

Who’s really in control, the mind or the body?

How do we talk to ourselves and others?  How do we get control of our minds? Why is it so hard to go beyond the knee-jerk reactions and change habitual behaviors? One way is to think about who is in control. Is it your mind or is it your body?  You might think, it’s my mind.  I am the thinker of my thoughts; I make decisions for myself.  My body does what I tell it to do. Maybe this is not entirely so! Consider this, when you wake up in the morning, who’s running the show? What thoughts go through your head as you get up?  You open your eyes, go to the bathroom, start your coffee, check Instagram, your Twitter and Facebook, and now you’re in your familiar reality. But before you do these things do you think consciously that you’re going to do each of them one by one? Is it possible that they are automatic, the body in control, moving you through space and time because it’s programmed to do that? It’s programmed to get in the car or get on the train and head to work or make calls for work  or start work from home. 

Now consider the teacher. The key question is, who’s in control of the students? How does someone respond when faced with two dozen kids of varying anxiety levels, all needing enrichment and attention?  Are their stress mechanisms, the adrenals activated? All day the body (not the mind!) is reacting and behaving accordingly, pumping adrenaline throughout the system. Is the stress happening in your brain or is it happening in your body and is the body running the show?

Let’s say you work from home. Your body moves to the computer automatically, the same way you would if you’re in a classroom. Before you know it the day’s over, and then what? Go back home and what thoughts are being generated on the way back? Dinner gets prepared. Dinner is eaten, out comes the newspaper or on comes your news source.  In between, family issues come up. Personal concerns come up. You look at the clock. You go to the sink and brush your teeth and then into bed. Do you fall asleep immediately or do racing thoughts keep you up way past when you wanted to be asleep. 

What’s up with this body that won’t go to sleep?

There are many ways to take the mind out of the body as in its automatic behaviors. There’s meditation, yoga, exercise, mindfulness etc. These practices are so popular because they can temporarily separate mind and body, allowing you to identify behavior and regain some control. One tool that we find to be very, very effective is to become aware of our needs and feelings. By having a vocabulary of Needs and Feelings we can identify what is going on internally and focus on the things we value also known as needs. 

Coming soon, more on how NVC changes one’s neurons that fire and wire to neurons that can also unwire……..